Friday, 28 August 2015

Happy Mba Months!

Awesome, Christmas is around the corner! 
This also means the 'ember ' months are right at the door.
Soon, posters and fliers  of special ember season promos will flood our phones, pages and streets.
Religious centers will churn out prayer points binding the blood-sucking, accident-thirsty ember spirits

You can click the link below to get my thoughts about this tradition which I posted this time last year.


While folks are dealing with the ember spirits, I'll be indulging the MBA mode.
MBA means NO in the igbo dialect.

You see, August was my cheat month. I broke all my healthy-living rules. 
Feasted on plantain chips like I just hit a jackpot, had a bottle of carbonated artificial drink and didn't workout at the gym at all! 
I also didn't stick to my budget for spending, neither did I stick to my daily schedule.  
In short, I ignored all the rules I set for myself in the month of August and I enjoyed doing so. 

But like everything in life, causes have effects, actions have consequences and so, my face is riddled with pimples, my account isn't smiling, I have gained an extra KG or two and I am back to ground zero in terms of being disciplined enough to follow a schedule.  

So, in my MBA months, I shall be saying NO to the same things I said yes to this month : plantain chips, compulsive eating and spending, excuses that lure me away  from the gym, and activities that crop up unannounced. 

I might not attain 100% success in the first month but I intend to be consistent in these MBA months; which is why I have told the world my plan.
The thought of people watching out for my success or failure should keep my eyes on the prize.

Dear friend, as we approach the ember months, instead of just casting out demons, try saying No to drinking before or while driving. Say NO to impulsive spending no matter how appealing that item is. Say NO to the adrenaline rush encouraging you to break the speed limit. Say No to those friends that encourage you to indulge in that self-destructive habit. 

I love Christmas! I love the yuletide season! The lights, ornaments, carols, gifts, and euphoria! 

Yippee Christmas is almost here

Happy MBA month folks 

Saturday, 22 August 2015

Is your kid an orphan?

Yesterday, I met a girl, less than 2 years whose parents noticed her unexplainable awareness of her vagina. She always moved away whenever they attempted to clean that area while bathing her, so they got worried and came to the clinic.
After examination we realised that this young girl that couldn't even coherently express herself yet had been sexually abused. 

Of course, we got the usual reaction : shock, denial, despair, anger, rage, disbelief, horror bla bla bla.

As we tried to ask the father further questions about his daughter's daily activities and upkeep, we realised the most annoying thing: this man didn't know the name of his daughter's creche  or after school care centre! He had to call his wife to find out!

Though I was livid, I comported myself and behaved like the professional I am. 
Believe me, if I had my way, I would have given the guy a piece of my mind; but then I would be missing a portion of my mind by now if I did so.

Here's the gist:

With the rate of sexual abuse sky rocketing and the number of child victims increasing these days, couples need to sit down and decide if they know and have what it takes to be a parent.

You see majority of the victims and culprits have one thing in common : ' a deficient home'.

Being a parent isn't synonymous with being able to donate a sperm or contribute an egg to the formation of an embryo;
It also goes beyond possessing the ability to provide a home and good education for your offsprings.
No sir!

Being a parent is a role that requires commitment, availability, responsibility, preparedness and a lot of resources ( financial, mental, emotional etc). 

I mean, I am not a parent ( yet) but with the things I have read, heard and seen in the past one year, i know that parenting isn't something you go into because ' it's the next step'. 

You need to count the cost before you begin this journey ( even the bible warns about not going to war if you are not sure about your resources) . 
You may say ' but parenting isn't war' - true. But parenting is synonymous with building a life and that same scripture warns against starting a building project without checking your treasury first!

A friend said that a lot of kids are orphans even though their parents aren't 6 feet below yet, and I agree with him. 

Please folks, get involved in your child's life. Be their friend, gain their confidence, watch out for them. Your work or ambition shouldn't take you away from their lives.  

Too many predators are out there lurking, ready to pounce on your kids while you aren't watching. And the bitter truth is that statistics have shown thatt over 90 percent of these predators are people you know, in fact your kids refer to most of them as ' uncle ' and 'Aunty '.

Please let's reduce the statistics of child sexual abuse by becoming more responsible in our parenting role. 
God forbid that the next child I see in my clinic with a similar story is your daughter or son; but God has given you this responsibility, take it as you take your job - SERIOUSLY!!!

Remember: 'your child needs your presence more than your presents' .

Sunday, 9 August 2015

The Stigma called " The Girl Child"

I know you must be alarmed by the topic of my article but hear me out.
I was born into a community of people I have come to know as my family. If you have met the whole clan called THE BANADOGS, you'll agree that we are more than the western definition of an extended family.

My whole family, however isn't the focus of this write up, that will probably be for another day.
I'ld like to refer to my nuclear family instead.

You see, my mum is the typical ' Mamabongirls'.
She gave birth to 4 girls (I'm the 3rd) and on the naming ceremony of my younger sister, one of my aunts actually taunted and harassed her for having a girl 'again'.

My mum was severely stigmatised for having 4 girls and she bore this pain for a long time.
Looking back, I believe that she tried and did her best to give her girls the best because of the sneers and snorts.

Whenever my mum has to summarize her experience, she says ' God compensated me by giving me 3 Medical Doctors and an Economist '. I
heard her say this again this afternoon and the activist in me got angry! 
For God's sake giving birth to a girl isn't something that needs divine compensation!  
A girl child isn't more or less than a male child and vice versa. 
We have been tagged weak and helpless for so long, its appalling!
A person is weak not because of her phenotype but because she has agreed to be weak!
A man is successful not because he has a Y chromosome, but because he decided to be successful against all odds!

Mother Theresa was a stronger vessel than most men despite her petite stature,
Margaret Thatcher put several men to flight at the sound of her voice,
Abimbola Ogunleye became a global advocate for children despite her XX chromosomes!

If you are in this age and time and believe that a particular sex is more advantaged than the other then you need a spank in the butt or a plank on the head to wake you up! Smell the coffee dude!

Gone are the days when a man's excuse for polygamy is a male child! If you must marry another wife, please look for a logical excuse or better still, keep your excuse to yourself.

History has proven repeatedly that your phenotype isn't an advantage or a disadvantage ; we have had successful men and women, evil men and women, tyrants in skirts and trousers alike. 

Dear Miss/Ms/Mrs, if you have fit into the mold of the weaker vessel that the society has carved out for the female all your life, please smash it and fit into the one God designed for you!
 I am no weaker than I accept to be.
I am who I am not because I am a woman, but because I am me, made in the image of the Almighty.

Stop the stigmatisation of the ' Mamabongirls'
Stop treating the XX chromosome like an anomaly!